My Favorite Little Puppet, No Strings Attached
by Lack Thereof
Summary: Alternate Plot, SasoSaku Sasori runs across an ideal little puppet to play with. Now only if he can get his hands on her...
1. Sudoku no Jutsu!

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**My Favorite Little Puppet- No Strings Attached**

_by the Serenity_

_© 2007 Serenity's Wild Imagination Inc._

_© 2007 Naruto Inc_

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_**Author's Note**_

_A friend of mine, Cherriy, challenged me to write a Sasori x Sakura story. Sounded easy at first, but now that YouTube has deleted all the Shippudden episodes and I seriously cannot figure out that dattebayo site, I am quite plot-illiterate. I'll give it my best shot. _

_Please rate the story 1-10, 1 being a horrible nut job, and 10 being the very best fan fiction ever on SasoSaku._

OoOoOoOoOo

Sudoku, I have officially decided, was not Deidara's hidden talent by all means. He had been working at the complicated math puzzle (which really wasn't complicated at all- being at beginner's level) for the last few hours. Ah, who am I to talk? I gave up the second I miscalculated a row.

Deidara was my assigned partner in crime in our not-so-honorable organization, Akatsuki. He was enthusiastic at his best. At his worst, he was a_ blonde_ blond, if you know what I mean. Well, at least there was somebody out there keeping the levels of carbon dioxide and oxygen in the air fairly balanced.

"What's 6 plus 3?" Deidara wondered, either having a brain freeze or a blonde moment. I'd guess it's a brain freeze since he's always _blonde_ blond.

"10." I answered, just to screw with his mind.

Deidara counted on his fingers, "You're an idiot Sasori."

Ah, maybe I need to work on my sarcasm skills...

"Why do you need to add to work a Sudoku puzzle?" I inquired.

"No, I'm just guessing how many minutes it would take until you stopped ogling at that girl over there subconsciously." Deidara pointed with a black-polished fingertip. My vision focused, and a little farther down the road was Konoha, and standing in front of that gate was a pink haired girl with emerald eyes. _She'd__make a nice puppet... _I thought idly.

"She's nicely equipped." Deidara mused. I stopped to jab my associate in the stomach for such an observation. "Ouch!" the fair-haired Akatsuki whined.

"Come on. We'll need to sneak our way in. The leader has been craving ramen, and we need to fetch it." I reminded him of our "epic journey" as we headed toward our "long-awaited destination" for the "future of the Akatsuki." More like for our leader's appetite.

I am quite the amusing commentary I know.

"Sasuke-kun!" the girl with the rose locks exclaimed, hugging a mini-me of Uchiha Itachi (another one of my associates.) I felt my eye twitch once, twice, thrice. I didn't bother to count from there on.

"She's already got a dude." Deidara pointed out, like it _wasn't so obvious already_.

"My ass she does." I swore irritably, and made it a point to assist Itachi in his schemes from now on. Deidara grinned mischievously.

"You like her!" He chortled. I covered my ears as he danced around me singing his little chant.

"All kidding aside," Deidara stopped his little ballet, "I think you better give her a chance."

"Why the bloody hell..." I began, then thought, "...not?"

"Leave it to me." Deidara promised, as though he had much enterprise, "You'll pull her away like you pull strings on a puppet."

I looked toward the blue eyed man. For the first time all day, the ditzy blond had finally said something right.


	2. Sexuality no Jutsu!

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**My Favorite Little Puppet- No Strings Attached**

_by the Serenity_

_© 2007 Serenity's Wild Imagination Inc._

_© 2007 Naruto Inc_

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_**Author's Note**_

_I decided to write another chapter! Yup, all those reviewers finally made me get off my infamously lazy butt and type up another chappie. Keep rating my writing as the story goes like usual._

_I'm sorry I'm unable to respond to your reviews, but I've been working on this chapter fast for you guys, so maybe I'll make it up here._

_Thanks to all who reviewed, and double thanks to those who rated too! It keeps me grounded, so I don't get too overconfident with my writing._

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Well, we finally made it into Konoha without incident. We kind of aimlessly wandered around because of Deidara's pinpoint directions. We stopped at the Academy for directions, and the extremely generous Hokage shouted for us to get the hell out. We finally stumbled upon the ramen shop, and entered just to see the rose-haired girl get hugged by another man, this time he was blonde. Deidara and I both gaped.

"Wasn't that the same girl who hugged the Uchiha?" Deidara asked. My eye started twitching again like I had Tourrettes syndrome.

"I will not accept a second-hand doll." I announced, and we purchased the ramen and took it back to the headquarters. The leader hungrily snatched it away right out of my hands. Deidara explained what happened at Konoha. The leader, for the first time I have ever seen him, grinned.

"You take a fancy to her?" the leader asked, and before I could respond, called for an Akatsuki meeting. Wow thanks Leader. I _reaaaallly_ appreciate _all the Akatsuki_ coming to witness me in my _moment of humiliation._

Soon all of us were assembled, wondering why we were here. I sighed and pretended to look for something of great importance in my robe pockets.

"Hello fellow Akatsuki." the leader began, "You all have rarely ventured into the uncharted waters of women have you?"

I closed my eyes and prayed this would all be over soon. Murmurs from the group arose, and he continued,

"I, as you leader, will take the honor of teaching you the way of women." he told us.

"Have you any female experience?" Itachi pointed out. Itachi was another one of my friends like Deidara, and although he may seem more intelligent, all he really did was yelling, "Mangekyou Sharingan!" occasionally.

"How do you think Naruto was fathered?" the leader countered. Itachi's face turned as red as his eyes.

"Mange...!" Kisame, some fishbrain guy, covered Itachi's mouth.

"Itachi's reaction told me where to start with you all aspiring womanizers." the leader began, "I think you all need a class of..."

"Akatsuki Sex Ed."

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**Akatsuki Headquarters**

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"Noooooo!" Itachi wailed as Kisame dragged him into our "classroom" (the leader's living room, complete with a whiteboard and a flatscreen plasma television.) "Don't make me go in...pleease! My family will come kill you for this! Oh...wait. I don't have any family! I killed them dammit!"

Genius, Uchiha, brilliant.

"Zetsu, please sit at the very back, you're rather big. You too Kisame. Our shortest members, Itachi, Sasori, and Deidara, please sit on the floor in front. Tobi, Kakuzu and Hidan please in the middle. Deidara, tie you hair back up again. We need you to hear _all_ of this."

Oh dear God, please let there be a tornado or something. I sat on the floor miserably and watched Deidara tie his blond hair into a sidebraid this time.

"Can you be any more transvestite?" I snapped.

"Shut up. We wouldn't be here if you hadn't brought it up to the leader!"

"You did!"

"Well you didn't have to look at that girl!"

"It's sexual attraction, Deidara, get over it!"

Suddenly Itachi looked at us, his crimson eyes wide, "Wait... _Sasori is sexually attracted to Deidara_?"

What an idiot! Who knew Mangekyou Sharingan affected the ears too!

"Stupid weasel..." I began, but was cut off by the leader, who very smoothly put in.

"Exactly, sexual attraction is very commonplace and natural." He started, then continued, "Of course, sexual attraction is just a combination of chemicals produced by the endocrine system, which controls the production of sperm in the testes..."

Itachi buried his head in his hands, his onyx ponytail shaking. I smirked until Kisame spoke up.

"So, a gay guy is natural?" Kisame inquired. I jumped up and faced the blue-skinned asshole.

"A gay fish is natural?" I shot back. Kisame wielded his giant Samehada blade and swung at me. Oopsy-daisy.

"Hold it." the leader put his hand between me and the Samahada blade, "This is an example of testosterone, a chemical in which men have. When men have high levels of this natural chemical, they get territorial and they tend to fight things out. During sexual activity, high level of testosterone is called an erection."

Itachi looked up, his face as red as his eyes, "You sure know a lot about this."

"Of course." the leader responded coolly, "In fact, since you're so interested, come up and be my assistant."

"No!" Itachi scrambled to the door, but the leader reached out and grabbed him by his collar and pulled him back rather roughly.

"Itachi, stay there." the leader told him and turned on the video. "Now when you see each picture, rate each picture out of ten on how much it attracts you, sexually." Itachi's face seemed to shrink into his gigantic neckband like a scared puppy.

"Come on Uchiha!" everyone cheered and jeered.

"Go weasel!"

"Don't be a testes Itachi!"

"WHO SAID THAT?!" Itachi roared, turning around to face all of us. We all froze. Nobody had ever heard Itachi be that loud. Ever.

"It was Zetsu." Tobi coughed.

"It was Deidara!" Zetsu argued.

"It was Kakuzu!" Deidara pointed the finger of blame.

"Hidan, we all know it was you!" Kakuzu pointed out.

"Why doesn't Sasori confess?" Hidan snapped.

"I didn't do it!" I lied.

"Boys, calm down." the leader announced, "This is a very natural reaction in all sexually immature people."

"Why does he keep saying that _word_!" Deidara hissed, blushing furiously.

"What, SEX?" I said extra loud. Deidara covered my mouth and looked around. Everyone was staring at us.

"Wait Deidara wants to.." Itachi began.

Well, let's just say Uchiha got firsthand experience of crashing through a window.

"Uhh..." the leader paused, then continued, "Well, we can all assume Deidara has a very high level of testosterone today hm?"

"Deidara's having an erection?" I ventured.

Well, let's just say I joined Uchiha outside, writhing on the ground in pain.


	3. Sakura no Jutsu!

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**My Favorite Little Puppet- No Strings Attached**

_by the Serenity_

_© 2007 Serenity's Wild Imagination Inc._

_© 2007 Naruto Inc_

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_**Author's Note**_

_Chapter Three was definitely a hit! I'm sorry if I'm not responding to your reviews. I'll respond with new chapters kay? Now we'll be switching points of view now, to Sakura's._

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**  
**

**Sakura's POV**

During my career as a human being, I have known one thing for absolute certain.

When _Tsunade_ isn't happy, _no-one's_ happy. End of story.

Well, she particularly went off full steam on me today when I dropped a Post-It, so I decided to treat myself to some well-deserved ramen on my way home. Hm, the ramen shop reminded me of somebody besides Naruto. I saw him today purchasing ramen with a friend. I was trying to unravel my thoughts, and some memories came back.

_That smooth looking face..._

"Hello!" the chef greeted me, and I ordered what I wanted. Funny, I was standing in exactly the same place he was. I could just feel his presence in the air.

_That slim, yet muscular build..._

I seated myself down at the counter, my toes just grazing the floor. Hey, I never prided myself on being vertically gifted. I blinked, and I could feel my eyes cloud over.

_Those eyes... What color were they?_

The chef gave me my ramen, and I began to eat out of the bowl, entangled in my thoughts. Heck, I was probably just another string of admirers he possessed.

Sasuke didn't seemed to like me anyway. There were so many men vying for my attention, why was I wasting it on him? My heart skipped at the thought he might like me back. I shook my head, my head falling from the clouds.

_They were a bright color... They looked right into your soul..._

I dreamily paid for my ramen and seemed to drift out the door...

_His friend called him something... What was it..._

I walked down the street, throwing a kunai at an annoying crow now and then. I walked past the Uchiha complex, and for the first time, didn't ogle at it for hours. I had more pressing things to worry about. What was this mysterious man's name?

_...Deidara?_

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Oh my gosh! What will Sasori do? Actually, I don't know, but speculate in the reviews! 50's music plays. Ooops. evil music plays instead. Mwahahahahha ! 


	4. Artemix no Jutsu

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**My Favorite Little Puppet- No Strings Attached**

_by the Serenity_

_© 2007 Serenity's Wild Imagination Inc._

_© 2007 Naruto Inc_

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_A plot twist! Duh duh duh duh! –insert evil music here-_

_I'm sorry I don't reply to some of your reviews, but I'll let you know I read and very much appreciate every single one!_

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**Sasori's POV**

Ouch. Picking glass shards out of your arms, rear, and even that very private place is not fun under any circumstances. Finally, after 3 very excruciating hours of nonstop pain, the leader called us back, the window being repaired by Deidara. The blonde did not look very pleased. The bastard deserved it, I'm not shedding any tears.

"Akatsuki, your reaction to this very gender sensitive subject was absurd. How can you handle a body of a woman," he paused, and swept his arms up high, "when you can't even handle your own? Such a shame. You are all dismissed. Sasori, please stay a moment."

The rest of my fellow Akatsuki hurried like hell out the door, and Itachi shot me a glance and smirked smugly. I'm gonna break his face in. My fists clenched as I mutter, "Yes, Kakuza-san?" (Kakuza is the leader's name.)

"Sasori, it's Haruno Sakura you're lusting after, isn't it?" Kakuza interrogated very slyly (not.) I felt heat rise to my face, against my powerful mind will. How obvious was it?

"Maybe..." I replied. So the coral-haired gal had a name?

"I remembered, a very long time ago, I longed after a woman also." He snapped, "And I bagged her. Now, I have decided to pass some of this knowledge onto my younger Akatsuki."

What the...

"I will be your personal coach!"

...HELL?

"Kakuza-san..." I began, but was silenced by my administrator with a hand.

"No payment necessary." Kakuza clamped me on the shoulder, and looked me in the eye. I couldn't let this up, could I? A step by step guide in the world of women, what else could be more useful? I sighed.

"I guess there's no way to say no?" I joked. Kakuza laughed.

"That's my boy. Wake up early tomorrow. Your womanizing lessons begin on the morrow." Kakuza left without another word.

"Sasori-danna is getting woman lessons?" Deidara cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled-asked. Bam! My foot, meet Deidara's face. Deidara's face, meet my foot. The window crashed, again. Deidara screamed in agony as I left to go find Uchiha.

"Woman lessons eh?" Itachi taunted when I finally found him, and stuck out his tongue. Adrenaline raced through my veins.

Uchiha Itachi, get ready to Mangekyou Sharingan, Sasori style.

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**Itachi's POV**

What is that redhead's problem? Beating me nearly senseless (only because he took me by surprise- usually I would never get beaten by a puppeteer.) Well, we all know now he likes Sakura, kudos to the leader's major secrecy techniques. Wasn't Sakura Sasuke's girlfriend or something of that sort?

I suppose that violence and Mangekyou Sharingan aren't the only ways to get under Sasuke's skin. Why hadn't I thought of that before?

Sakura was not that bad looking, now that I think about it...

Who says I can't join the fun? The more the merrier right?

* * *

_**Next Morning**_

_**5:30 AM**_

_**Akatsuki Headquarters**_

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**Sasori's POV  
**

"Mm..." My head nestled comfortably in my pillow. Everything was comfortable. Too comfortable...

"SAAAAAAAAAASOOOOOORI-DAAAAANNNNAA!" a voice wailed into my ear. This jolted me awake, and I fell off my bed, entangled in a gathering of sheets. I groaned when I saw Deidara's bright eyes. I was not in the mood for his peppiness. Perkiness is a poison at such ungodly hours.

"Deidara, leave me alone." I muttered.

"Kakuza-san sent me to fetch you! Hurry! You have to go now!" Deidara whined, pulling me along. I snatched my Akatsuki uniform off the wall as I went along. Deidara pulled me out to the courtyard, where Kakuza and another man were standing. I felt self-conscious, me being only dressed in Akatsuki attire and pajamas, while everyone else was fully dressed. The man standing next to Kakuza lowered his aviator sunglasses, and pearl-colored eyes looked back at me, pupils a dilated from the dim light. It was a little unnerving, and I shifted my weight from one foot to another.

"Sasori, you didn't make us wait. Good job." Kakuza congratulated, "Are you ready to begin your lessons?" The way he asked it seemed more like a statement then a question.

"No." I mumbled, still muddled with sleep. My leader didn't seem to hear me, and the man with the aviators stepped forward.

"Sasori, this is Artemix, a college friend. We used to play college level basketball together. We were awesome." Kakuza introduced.

"Our basketball team sucked ass Kakuza." Artemix pointed out, and both of them burst out laughing. I sighed, exhaling my frustration.

"Anyway, both of us are very experienced men in the subject of woman-wooing, and we are here to help you." Kakuza added. No! One coach is enough, but two! I prayed some natural disaster would save me from this upcoming hell.

"Does Deidara have to stay?" I pleaded, and Artemix nodded.

"Of course, he will be our demo woman." Artemix said patiently, shaking some dark hair from his face. Deidara's eyes widened in disbelief.

"I never agreed!" Deidara protested.

"Of course you did." Kakuza said in an expressionless voice which meant the discussion was over.

"Now," Artemix put in, "how well can you kiss a woman?"

"I don't know." I deadpanned.

"Why don't you show us then?" Artemix asked.

No...

Did this mean...

I'd have to...

Kiss...

_Deidara?_

* * *

_Uh oh! What will Sasori do? _


	5. Seduction no Jutsu!

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**  
**

**My Favorite Little Puppet**

**No Strings Attached**

**© The Serenity, 2007**

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Author's Note:

_Some of these chapters might be brisk, but my computer has been taken away until summertime, so I'm using the family's computer, and I have about only an hour a day to spend typing this. Also, I have to be careful with language so I don't get in trouble. Stupid parents. --_

_Also, there's been some confusion between Kakuzu and Kakuza. Kaku__**ZU**__ is the tentacle guy, while Kaku__**ZA**__ is the Akatsuki leader. Just so there aren't any more understandings. _

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**Sasori's POV**

My head was throbbing. Maybe I didn't hear Artemix right. Or who said it? Kakuza? Itachi? That bird in the tree? I didn't care. This was going against my values. Well, it wasn't too long before bawk, bawk sounds and chicken jokes starting coming from the leader and his colleague. I stiffened. I would NOT be ridiculed by such people as they. I grabbed Deidara, and focused in. Deidara's eyes were wide with terror. The chicken sounds stopped adruptly.

"Shit." Kakuza said, "He's really gonna do it."

* * *

Meanwhile...

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**Itachi's POV**

Maybe I should ask the leader if he can give me a new roommate, because Kisame doesn't seem to stop snoring. I thought about stuffing tissue paper up his nose to quiet him, but I couldn't figure out whether the noise was coming from his nose or his gills so I stuffed both. And his mouth too. I stuffed it all with cottonballs. Of course, he just subconsciously coughed the cottonballs out of his mouth, so now I'm applying super glue to his lip. I pressed his mouth shut and waited for the glue to dry. Now I won't suffer from his snoring, let alone his annoying chatter, or his nasal laugh. I congratulate myself on my genius "skillz" and idly went to look out the window. What a spectacle!

Sasori and Deidara were playing tongue tag right outside! I grabbed my phone and snapped a few pictures for blackmail. After getting the million-dollar shots, I threw open the door and yelled a well-known nursery rhyme, just altered to fit the situation.

"Sasori and Deidara, standing right outside, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" I yelled, and doors threw open and Akatsukis dressed in pajamas hurried to my windowsill, cameras in hand. No one apparently wanted to miss this chance for blackmailing. Flashes set off and shutters sounded, finally waking Kisame up. He attempted to open his mouth to speak, then realized his mouth was glued shut. He scraped his Samehada blade across his mouth, and his lip turned out rather... bloody. He glared at me, his teeth clenched, and I was slightly afraid I'd be next.

**Sasori's POV**

I pulled away from Deidara, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. I was personally surprised at how much I liked kissing. You know, kissing in general, NOT kissing Deidara. I heard some catcalls and whistles, and I turned around to see Akatsuki gathered at a window, snapping pictures at me and Deidara like we were A-list celebrities. My mouth gaped. Uchiha set this up, I know he did.

"Damn." Artemix commented, "My accidental kiss with a guy was never this publicized." He sounded slightly jealous.

I was too mortified to think anymore about the issue. Not only had my leader and this attention "ho" witnessed the kiss with Deidara, now the rest of the Akatsuki too! I wished the ground beneath me would turn into quicksand and suck me in, far away from this situation. Kakuza went to the windowsill and shooed them away. When they were gone, Kakuza and Artemix started clapping. I felt my face turn red. Probably as red as my hair.

"That wasn't too bad." Kakuza told me, like if he was my sensei or something like that."Now, off too Konoha!"

"What? I mean- I haven't learned anything yet!" I protested, but my pleas fell to deaf ears as the leader dragged me off, with Artemix and Deidara in tow.

**Konoha Outskirts**

The entrance gate to Konoha was becoming more visible and considerably larger as we approached. For a moment my feet went cold with nervousness. I'd finally meet Sakura. I swallowed my fear and continued walking. Artemix suddenly spoke up.

"Sasori, every aspiring womanizer needs a motto." Artemix pointed out. I didn't want to be an infamous womanizer. I just needed my one, rose-haired girl, and I certainly didn't need a motto. But I decided to heck with it, and nodded in his direction.

"Well, what's your motto?" Artemix pressed.

"Uh..." Suddenly panic washed over me, "Umm..." I saw Artemix glance heavenward than back at me.

"Well, in the approximately three minutes we have from here to Konoha, we'll think of your slogan." Kakuza put in.

"Here, I'll give you an example." Artemix added, "Everytime I bang a woman," He grinned wickedly, "I say," He paused, "_Wham! Bam!_" He saluted, "_Thank you ma'm!_"

I gaped at first. Although it was perverted, it was clever. How could I think of something like THAT in three minutes? I snapped back to reality. I was Sasori of the Red Sands. I could do this.

Suddenly a brainblast hit me. I turned to my accomplices.

"How about this?" I began, "'I love you' has eight letters. So does 'seducing'."

"Very nice." Kakuzu and Deidara commented in chorus.

"Hm. I guess it's adequate." Artemix remarked as we passed through the Konoha gate. I was amazed that we had not been recognized. I'd definitely have better security for my future bride and I. I stopped short in my tracks. _Bride?_ No, what am I thinking? This girl is just my playtoy, not a wife. You can't marry a puppet when you're the ventriloquist!

Suddenly Deidara flat-tired(1) me. I turned around, angry at his interruption.

"Snap out of it, Sasori-danna." Deidara ordered. Then he cocked an eyebrow at me, "What's gotten into you?"

What has gotten into me, really? I have never needed to be reminded by anyone, let alone _Deidara_! I felt irritated. This rose haired girl is going to get it good once I get my hands on her.

"Look!" Artemix interrupted.

"Isn't that her?" Kakuza asked. My head jerked up. Yup. There she was, sitting on the park bench, writing into a journal. A diary? Her light blossom locks fell over her shoulders, and cascaded down her front. I couldn't help but be reminded of my puppet strings that I added to a few in my collection. My feet went cold.

Suddenly the pink haired girl, Sakura was her name I think, looked up and directly at me. My heart jumped, and I felt Deidara's hair brush my shoulder.

"I missed you!" She called. If this was in a comic, this would be one of those moments where hearts would appear on my face. She ran toward me. I was about to outstretch my arms to hug her, but she past by me. I turned my head to see.

Now I wish I didn't.

She and my "friend", Deidara, were playing tongue-tag, French style.

Nothing in the known universe could stop the eye twitch now.

All those sexual education classes, all that my dating coaches taught me, all that practice, had gone to nothing!

Oh yeah. Artemix? I have a new motto now.

"I love you" has eight letters in it.

So does, "bullshit."


	6. Lovesick no Jutsu!

* * *

**My Favorite Little Puppet- No Strings Attached**

_by the Serenity_

_© 2007 Serenity's Wild Imagination Inc._

_© 2007 Naruto Inc_

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Heh heh, forgot something in the last chappie. (1) Flat tiring is when you step on the back of someone's shoe, causing them to trip. (I love doing it but I hate having it done to me! ) Just in case some people didn't know!_

_I agree with you guys. Poor Sasori. He does the work but Deidara is the sole beneficiary. What's going to happen?_

_**I have a favor to ask one of you. Are you a good writer and have decent grammar skills? Because I need your help! **  
_

* * *

**Konoha Inn**

"Still down in the dumps?" Kakuza asked, sitting next to me. I looked toward him, then back at my beer sitting in front of me on the bar counter. I sighed and ran my face over with my hand.

"What does it look like? My best friend just dirty-kissed with my to-be girlfriend." I moaned as my head rested on the countertop. I could only imagine the scene in my head.

_"Deidara..." Sakura moaned as they continued they furious make out session of love, front and center for Sasori to watch. _

_Deidara didn't say anything, except whisper, "Let's take this somewhere else more... private."_

_Sakura giggled and they both snuck away to more private accommodations to move farther, physically and hypothetically._

_With only a sad little pathetic hopeless loser standing alone..._

"STOP IT." I shouted. Kakuza looked at me oddly.

"Sasori, it was just a small peck." Artemix slid in on the other side of me. A waitress hurried over, and he locked eyes with her. He was obviously preparing to go on to a flirting crusade. Ah... so much for the kindness and caring for others in this world eh?

"A beer please. Make it three." Artemix ordered, flashing his winning smile, and the barmaid danced away on cloud nine. I sighed.

"What am I going to do now? I..." I didn't know how to put it. I knew what it was however.

I, Sasori of the Red Sands, was _lovesick_.

And I didn't like it. At all.

"Well, you could always go gay." Kakuza suggested as our drinks were served within 30 seconds from the eager barmaid.

"Thanks babe." Artemix told her, and she fainted dead in front of us. We quickly took our drinks and went outside.

"Nah. We already have enough of those in Akatsuki." I joked, trying to sound playful. Kakuza chuckled.

"Now that's the Sasori we all know! Not the one obsessed with Sakura." Kakuza chortled.

"Yeah..." I sighed. Her name had put a rain cloud over everything.

"Look, I'm really sorry about what happened." Artemix apologized even though it was nowhere near his fault. I shook my head.

"Don't worry about that. You're not the unlucky fella whose gonna get his ass kicked." My teeth clenched as I thought of Deidara. The Blonde Bastard. BB. That's how I shall refer to him now. BB.

"We'll give you some time alone." Kakuza told me, and he and Artemix went over to a nearby group of swooning ladies. I sighed for at least the hundredth time that day. It seemed like everyone was getting some except for me.

"Sasori-danna!" a familiar voice called from down the street. I already knew who it was. And there was no way I was stopping for that who. I ran down the street, ignoring a series of consequent calls.

I whizzed through the gate leaving Konoha, and slammed into someone who I really didn't want to run into. Uchiha.

No, so now I'd expect to see the rest of Akatsuki here also? Just to witness me getting slammed by Deidara?

"Go away." I growled. Uchiha's crimson eyes widened.

"Whoa, back off." Itachi waved his hand, "I come in peace."

"No usually you come to either torture Sasuke or annoy the fuck out of me." I snapped, and tore off in the opposite direction, going back into Konoha. Itachi tackled me to the ground. My cheek felt the cold pebbles of the earth. Itachi pulled me over to an alleyway.

"What's wrong with you?" Itachi stepped back and leaned against the apartment building. I sighed.

"Well, how about you ask my blonde friend!" I retorted, then left and sprinted through the plaza again, this time skidding to a stop. Right in front of me was Sakura.

"Uh...um..." I stuttered.

"H-hi! You're Deidara's friend right? Sasori?" She guessed. They way she said Sasori was musical. My head felt foggy.

"Yeah... That's me." I turned to leave.

"Wait!" she called. I looked over my shoulder.

"Have a good night, Sasori." She smiled shyly. I felt my cheeks turn red.

"Good evening to you too." I smiled. I kept walking. Somehow I felt better.

But not by much.


	7. Rat Bastards no Justu!

* * *

**My Favorite Little Puppet- No Strings Attached**

_by the Serenity_

_© 2007 Serenity's Wild Imagination Inc._

_© 2007 Naruto Inc_

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Thanks to everyone who volunteered to help me out! It warms my heart to see people stepping up to the plate to help someone else out. That's awesome. (The person I chose to help I will send you a private message, if I haven't already.)_

_I also am impressed at the number of people who like this story! I would never imagine it to be so well liked. I want to express gratitude to all my new reviewers, and particularly the ones who come back again and again to cheer MFLP on. It will continue! The show will go on! _

* * *

**Sakura's Home**

**Sakura's POV**

Well, let's just say this ENTIRE past few days has been a complete and utter shock. For starters, I got a boyfriend! Well, a girlish boyfriend. I told him to cut his hair, but he wouldn't listen. He said it's his "trademark." Well I don't like it.

I could put up with it.

For now.

I walked up the cobblestone path to my house, and I felt my jaw drop open. Littering from the tips of my sandals all the up to the threshold was red roses, the thorns picked from them, along with candy. Expensive too, by the looks of it. Are these from Deidara?

My door was open and was filled with a pile of bouquets and heart shaped boxes of chocolate goodies. Although it was a little corny and overwhelming, it was heart touching.

I stepped over the flowers and onto the wooden floors of my home. As soon as I did I felt two arms snake around my waist. I felt a husky voice whisper seductively in my ear.

"Sakura..." I felt my eyes widen.

"Sasuke...kun?" I asked. Sasuke left all these roses and chocolates for me? A week ago I've might've been thrilled. Now I attempted to push away from the onyx-eyed ninja.

"Sakura..." He squeezed me harder. "I... have always... admired you." I felt anger build up in me until it capitalized.

"Why didn't you tell me before, when I loved you!" I snapped, and tried to move away again. I felt him stiffen.

"You...love another?" Sasuke realized, his voice deliberately slow. I opened my mouth to answer him.

Suddenly someone walked past our window. I looked at him closely. It was Deidara's friend, the redhead one! He wasn't aware of my predicament at all. He seemed to be lost in thought.

"Sasori!" I gasped. Sasuke's hold tightened to a death grip.

"Is that him?" Sasuke hissed. Before I could say anything, the Uchiha avenger had disappeared. I ran outside to warn him.

Sasori had walked around the corner. I stared down the road, the horribleness of the drama dawning on me. Sasori was going to die because of me! I quickly took down the road. Soon my legs just gave out from exhaustion. I drifted into a safe sanctuary of sleep as my head hit the pavement.

Safe from the dilemma.

For now.

* * *

**Konoha **

**Sasori's POV**  
The humid, hot air of Konoha summertime was starting to wear down on me as I walked through the streets, so I took refuge in shade as I ambled toward the main square. Suddenly a flash of black and blue dashed past me. Probably another revenge hungry ninja. They are becoming as commonplace as rat bastards.

Speak of the devil, and he comes to you!

Deidara was standing about 10 feet away, looking straight back at me.

"Sasori-danna?" Deidara asked in an annoyingly cheerful voice. I stared back with hard cold eyes. Deidara's face turned to one of happiness to of worry.

"Is something wrong Sasori-danna?"

Oh hell yeah.

OH HELL THERE IS.

"...Yep." I answered, struggling to keep my anger contained.

Suddenly Deidara grinned, "You still upset about Sakura, un? As they say, the early bird gets the worm."

_Slam!_ Blood squirted from Deidara's face as I gave him a straight on punch for his clever comeback. Although writhing in pain, Deidara stared back at me, his blue eyes meeting my red ones with the same energy.

Somehow, this entire predicament reminded me of a rhyme Granny Chiyo used to sing to me when I was small about friendship.

_Sorry I forgot to tell you_

_That as my friend you must be true._

I saw Deidara's hand making some clay. Obviously he was preparing for a fight. I began summoning puppets.

"What do you hope to achieve from this, Deidara!" I demanded in frustration and desperation, "Why did you do this to me?"

_I went to tell you we should be friends,  
That I will be here until the end._

"This is for being an asshole to me!" Deidara shouted at me, "Every day we worked as a team, you were just an ass to me, day in and day out! Now you got a taste of your own medicine un!"

_But you would not listen to me,  
So friends no longer shall we be._

* * *

_**Author's Note: **__Oh no! This is the showdown between Sasori and Deidara! Who are YOU rooting for? This might determine who wins the battle! And who loses... _


	8. Out of Ideas no Jutsu!

OoOoOoOo

**My Favorite Little Puppet- No Strings Attached**

_by the Serenity_

_© 2007 Serenity's Wild Imagination Inc._

_© 2007 Naruto Inc_

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_The ultimate showdown between our artists has arrived. I already know who wins! Your reviews did influence the plot though! It'll come into play later. Sasori will come out on top, just not the way you'll imagine it.  
_

_The poem at the end of the last chapter was not mine by the way, it was a poem I found on another sight about broken friendships, and I thought it suited the situation._

_Lights, camera, ACTION! Because, well, there's A LOT of it. _

* * *

**Konoha Outskirts**

**Sasori's POV**

Adrenaline pumped through me as Deidara and I had a staredown, waiting to see who would make the first move.

And I hate having to wait. And waiting for things.

I quickly transported into my puppet shield and watched. Explosions rippled through the air, vibrating against the back of the puppet's back. He was trying to destroy my puppet shield. Not so easy Deidara. He was flying on his bird overhead. I shot my skeleton tail up and shot the bird down.

"Birdbrain." I grinned at my pun as I watched the blonde stumble and fall from his bird. Fall, fall, fall to your death, my friend.

Suddenly I sensed a presence behind me. I felt the chakra in the air. The leader. I immediately transformed into my normal self. Deidara landed on his feet across from me, the leader playing middle.

"Are you trying to give us away?" Kakuza growled, clutching us both by the necks. I felt my windpipe closing, and I shook my head no. I felt Deidara's eyes on me, and I kept my eyes on Kakuza.

"Ah...No sir. Not at all..." Deidara choked.

"Just a friendly... competition..." I gasped this being as far from the truth as a lie could be.

"If you want to just have an affable joust, use kunai instead of your hidden talents. This **isn't** an option." Kakuza looked at us straight in the eye and disappeared. We both caught our breath and turned to each other again, energy now approaching its climax.

"Shall we?" Deidara challenged. I reached for my kunai pouch.

En garde, Deidara. En garde.

**Sasuke's POV**

I just spotted him. The knave who picked my cherry blossom, right in front of me, midcourse in another fight with another ninja. The more the merrier eh? I aimed my shruiken and tossed it with practiced skill. It caught the boor off guard, slicing his cheek. I watched in satisfaction as blood cascaded down his face. His burgundy eyes turned to me, wide with surprise, just as he was striked with another kunai, this time from the champagne-haired ninja with the blue eyes. It didn't take the russet haired man very long to realized the odds have stacked up against him. I quickly made it a point to let the sun-haired ninja know I was allied with him.

"Uchiha Sasuke." I hastily introduced.

"Deidara. Our enemy is Sasori." Deidara growled, "Watch him. He'll be on your territory before you even know." I assumed Deidara was pissed at the bastard for trying to steal his girl too.

"I know. Trust me... I know." I growled and reached for my kunai.

**Sasori's POV**

What the hell? Who is this charcoal eyed ninja? I heard him say, "Uchiha Sasuke." Go figure. A damn Uchiha. Should've known. Always trust them to screw with your life. They'll never let you down.

I assembled my shuriken and hurled them at the duo. It caught them off guard while they were making their small talk. Blood spurted from their arms and face. I regretted that I didn't aim for the neck. Shuriken and kunai came soaring at me from all directions, and I defied all physics and soared into the air to escape. Unfortunately, physics defied me and I came back down, but I was prepared with my kunai to kill them. Aim, aim, aim for the heart.

Suddenly the giant bird had been revived and had divided into two for Sasuke and Deidara. They came from both poles, ready to impale me on their kunai. I somersaulted out of the way, and the birds swooped just before they crashed landed. The sun glared at my eyes, and I was not able to see Deidara's bird rebounding back.

"Crap!" I shouted, and I was knocked into the air, just to be hit by Sasuke's flying vessel. Out of my dimension, I could do nothing but be volleyballed between the two. I felt blood waterfall down my face as beaks pricked and poked at me. Suddenly I heard Deidara tell Sasuke to stop.

"We've done enough..."

"I'm not done with him yet!"

"Both of you! Stop it!" A feminine voice shouted. Sakura.

I landed on my feet miraculously. Suddenly I felt someone land behind me. Deidara. Again. He grabbed my arms and started moving them like a marionette.

"I'm Pinocchio. I want to be a real boy." he taunted in a purposely high pitch voice. I gritted my teeth as tears sprung to my eyes in remembrance of such a taunting childhood name.

Suddenly a kunai slashed at me, and my knees gave out from under me in defeat.

**Sakura's POV**

"Sasuke! Deidara!" I screamed. Both of them stopped, Sasuke having just landed, and Deidara holding Sasori's arms in suspension. Deidara let Sasori drop. I ran forward, and Sasori fell into my arms, his silky hair brushing against my hand. I gritted my teeth. I wanted nothing more then to slit the throats of Sasuke and Deidara. Not now. Now Sasori needed my help.

"Deidara..." I growled, looking at him, "We are breaking up."

* * *

_**AN**__: Uh oh, Sasori has come between Deidara and Sakura! If he plays his cards right, he MIGHT just come out on top!  
_


	9. Temptation no Jutsu!

* * *

**My Favorite Little Puppet- No Strings Attached**

_© 2007Lack Thereof._

_© 2007 Naruto Inc_

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_I have officially changed my penname from the Serenity to Lack Thereof, a term I like to use occasionally. Call me nuts (someone actually did) but hey, I changed it, and its most likely staying that way. _

_Anyway, let's go!_

* * *

**Konoha Outskirts**

**Sasori's POV**

The world slowly faded back into vision for me as I awoke, and when my eyes focused, I realized I was not lying on the borders of Konoha, but instead inside a residence. An incredibly sanitary home at that too, I sat up, and the chill from the air bit at my exposed, bare skin.

I shivered, and then I became conscious that all my clothes save for my pants had been discarded. My head throbbing, I lay my head back down on the pillow. I looked at the wooden bedside table next to me. There was a glass of water, and a picture. I reached for it and looked at it. It was a picture of Sakura, except her hair was longer. She was standing with Sasuke, the Kyuubi kid, and a grey haired man who I assumed was her sensei.

I brought the picture closer to me, and a softly kissed the photo Sakura. I sighed and closed my eyes. It wouldn't be too long before she figured I was one of the Akatsuki. I put the photograph back and prayed I would get above this passion before I got too deep.

There was a clock ticking at the wall opposite me. It said 10:30 AM. Adjacent to the clock was a calendar, it read Monday. Monday, 10:30 AM, and what I assumed to be Sakura's dwelling. Now, how in the names of all the Jinchuuriki, did I arrive here?

I examined my arms. There were multiple bandages around my arms, and one long one wrapped around my chest. Sakura must've nursed me back to wellbeing after my rather violent thrashing from the Blonde Bastard and his partner in crime, the Uchiha Loser.

Although I was appreciative for her aid, I don't think was justified of it. I was one of the Akatsuki, an S-class criminal, hunted in Konoha and in Sungakure. She should've killed me for all I was worth.

I rose from my bed. The pain struck my head again, and I fell down against my pillow. I took a pad of paper from the bedside table and a pen. I was going to write out my passion on a piece of paper, get over it and leave prior to Sakura returning home.

I looked up at the ceiling, distressed for inspiration, desperate for some innovation on my creative side. I titled my paper (Granny Chiyo had always said you had to title_ everything_, even if it was just a brisk note.) The title was, "The Garden of Everything."

**The Garden of Everything**

_**Sakura of Konoha, **_

_Here you are  
Daylight Star  
Made out of miracles  
Perfection of your own  
You alone  
Oh, so incredible  
Each atom sings to me  
Set me free  
From chains of the physical  
Oh, free me...Oh, free me..._

_The mirror melts  
Somewhere else  
Inside eternity  
Where you, on outstretched wings,  
Sing within  
The garden of everything  
Where memories call to me  
Backward dreams  
Or phantom reality  
Call to me...Call to me..._

_So here we are,_

_Lovers of lost dimensions_

_Burning supernovas,_

_Of all sound and sight_

_Every touch, a temptation,_

_Every sense a sensation_

_Eyes of pure_

_Deep azure_

_Quite unbelievable_

_Sun's daughter, you've been made_

_Not to fade_

_Quite inconceivable_

_Each atom sings to me_

_Set me free_

_From chains of the physical_

_Oh free me... oh free me..._

_A love like ours_

_A starry flower_

_Through seasons and centuries_

_As rivers reach the sea_

_You reach me_

_With songs of your symmetry _

_A small boat, there will float_

_To far off coasts_

_The Isle of Infinity _

_Come with me... Come with me..._

_Come with me..._

_Here we'll see_

_Love's lost tree..._

_Made out of miracles_

_Emotions, crystal leaves_

_To cover me_

_and you in eternity_

_Each atom sings to us_

_Through the blood,_

_Love is a miracle_

_Sing softly... Sing softly_

_Sing softly... Sing softly..._

_Come with me... Come with me..._

_**Sasori of the Red Sands**_

* * *

Exhausted from my poetry expertise, I started falling into a sleep. Before my senses went numb, however, I heard Sakura whisper,

"I'll come with you."

* * *

The following morrow dawned, along with my attempt to leave and return to Akatsuki headquarters a disappointed man.

I pulled on the signature black robes with the red clouds. I finger-combed my crimson hair before heading to the door, and when I placed my hand on the doorknob, I felt two arms snake around me. I rested my hand and closed my eyes. I already knew who it was.

"Sasori... why are you leaving?" Sakura said deliberately slow.

"I..." My voice trailed. In truth, there's nothing I wanted more then to be with Sakura. In the deepest parts of my heart however, I knew the leader, along with Deidara and Itachi and the rest of Akatsuki, would never allow it. Even if they did permit it, Konoha and the Hokage would most surely object. "I... must Sakura. I have too."

"Please... don't leave... Please..." Sakura started to shake.

"What of you and Deidara?" I hated to return to the topic, but I knew it must be addressed before I could say anything else. Her arms tightened.

"I... don't care for Deidara... or Sasuke-kun...anymore..." I felt Sakura's pretty azure eyes look at me. I suddenly felt a huge burden be lifted off my shoulders. Then my shoulders sank once again.

"Sakura... I'm sorry. I am not worthy to be with you. Not even to stand in your presence." I swallowed, "I am... Akatsuki." Sakura suddenly broke off from me.

"You're Akatsuki?!" She demanded. I didn't know how I could face her.

"Yes..." I choked, "My apologies. I'd give anything to be with you... I'm sorry."

Suddenly I felt her whisper, "Why don't you give up Akatsuki then?"

My entire body was racked with shock. Leave Akatsuki? The notion had never ever crossed my mind until now.

"And live here? Sakura... I couldn't..." I turned to face her. She had a mischievous look on her face.

"No... I'll leave Konoha." She offered. I was baffled now.

"You mean, run away? From everything?" I asked. She nodded, her eyes pleading. I sighed and scratched the back of my head, feeling a smile form on my face.

"You know I can't resist that face Sakura."

"Oh Sasori!" She hugged me so tight I thought my internal organs would collapse. Tomorrow we would leave, to where I don't know.

_Tomorrow we would leave everything we called home; _

_Everywhere we were familiar with; _

_Everyone we had ever known._

* * *

**A/N: **_Uh oh! What will Sasori and Sakura do? Run off together? Hee... hee... _

_I have to apologize for the confusion that brewed during the last chapter over some technical difficulties. It won't happen again, promise!_

_Anyway, unfortunately I didn't think of the masterpiece Sasori wrote. Its lyrics from a song, "The Garden of Everything," by Maaya Sakamoto and Steven Conte. The poem at the end of the chapter is mine though! All mine! _

_Next chapter- Epilogue. _


	10. Epilogue no Oh Screw It

* * *

**My Favorite Little Puppet- No Strings Attached**

_© 2007Lack Thereof._

_© 2007 Naruto Inc_

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Holy shmoly, the last chapter of MFLP! I am actually trying not to cry as I write this! But like EvilFaerie17 said, all good things must end. Thanks all for making this story what it is now! Every hit, every fav and alert, and every review shouted at me to continue, and now I am finishing it. Okay everyone, let's go!_

* * *

**Epilogue**

**Two Years Later...**

* * *

**Sasori's POV**

"That's all for today." I stretched my arms into the air, and then started collecting the firewood I had been chopping in this extensive forest.

My arms ached from the labor, but not as much as they did

when Sakura and I first arrived and made a home here. Back then I didn't know what true hard work was. Now that I had to supply for myself and my wife, I sometimes missed the days when food was ready at hand at the ramen place in Konoha, and Granny Chiyo's delicious meals back in Sungakure.

Ah, how I reminisced those days...

It had been tough starting out a life in these woods in the beginning, especially the initial feelings of homesickness, but it soon got better after Sakura's friends visited us regularly.

Although they acknowledged we could never live in Konoha because of my less-then-honorable history, they still visited us and came over for Christmas last year. I've made friends with some of Konoha's men, such as Shikamaru, but none of them could fill the intimacy I felt with my fellow Akatsuki.

A rather large price to pay to be with Sakura. Now and again I missed them, even Deidara. Maybe it was the idiotic blonde whom I was most fond of.

Of course, a few months after homesickness passed, Sakura was struck by a new illness- morning sickness. When she discovered she was expectant, I almost keeled over in shock. But now I am the pleased father of Ryuu, a small boy of one year with my hair and Sakura's eyes.

Some days I fear what the Akatsuki may do, but they haven't done anything yet, and most days the Akatsuki never crosses my mind. I am far too busy between getting the food and teaching Ryuu how to walk and talk, and of course, loving my beautiful Sakura.

I stop in my tracks. Right across the forest clearing was a familiar blonde.

Deidara. He was sitting on a log, looking quite lonesome. I felt a little guilty. Now he had to work alone, when all he loved to do was work with people. I was at a loss at what to do.

Suddenly a man with an orange mask with one eyehold came tearing across the clearing. I recognized him as Tobi, Zetsu's subordinate.

"Deidara-senpai!" Tobi chortled, "I got it!" He held up a dead mole. "Sorry for slowing us down!" Deidara rubbed his forehead.

I felt a pang in my stomach- sadness and nostalgia. Somehow I remembered how that was the way we used to be- Deidara being Tobi and I being Deidara. I suddenly missed the Akatsuki and Deidara with great enthusiasm. I shook my head. I had Sakura and Ryuu now. I couldn't just turn away.

I heard Deidara mutter something like, "ADHD much?" He glanced up, and our eyes locked. I felt a little self-conscious. Like them, I was wearing my Akatsuki attire, except the red clouds had faded a long time ago and the sleeves were cut to my elbows to make them more convenient to work in. Deidara took a moment to recognize who I was.

It had to be the most awkward moment of my life.

Suddenly Deidara's face broke into a slow, but genuine grin. Sighing with relief, I gave him a true Sasori smile, a smile that rarely ever appeared. I waved goodbye and headed back up the cliff, back to Ryuu and my favorite little puppet- with no strings attached anymore.

No more guilt, no more worry. For the first time in my life-

_ I got no strings on me!_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Yup, well that wraps it up! MFLP is finally done! The last line was from Pinocchio (hee hee I hope you enjoyed that one.) Before we go, I have some people to thank and some credit to give (myself included .)

**Authoress**

Lack Thereof

**Beta Reader**

Cherryburg YAY

**Special Thanks To:**

Cherryburg

EvilFaerie17

**Thank You**

Everyone who supported me through this! You guys rock my socks. (Tosses you all cybercookies) Go and write your own Sasori x Sakura story! We could always use more!

**Credits**

_Cherryburg-_ (For the Main pairing and Artemix)

_Naruto Incorporated-_ (For the majority of the cast)

_Lack Thereof-_ (Hee hee shameless self crediting)

_My Cat Hobie-_ (For keeping me company during the dark cold nights when I struggled to write.)

_EvilFaerie17- _For giving me support to write MFLP and being someone I could rely on when I needed help. I hope we can still be friends even when MFLP ends.


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